Anti-Aging Advice from Dr Mercola

No matter what your convictions in life, nobody wants to get old and yucky. I found some good advice recently on the top things to do or not do to delay turning into your aunt Mildred.
1- Free Radicals: You get these from things like cigarettes, trans fats and charred meat.
2- Imflammation: This makes you get old and sick. You can reduce it by exercising and eating things like Turmeric, dark chocolate and resveratrol, which you find in good quality red wine.
3-Glycation. This happens when sugar mixes with proteins and fats to form molecules that will put you in a nursing home. So don’t eat sugar or browned foods that were cooked with high heat. Sugar and fried foods will kill you.
4- Stress. This makes you produce hormones that will make you feel fried and burnt-out in the long run. You produce cortisol to mitigate the stress, but this will also kill you if it remains high over time. So you need to figure out how to de-compress, take the blue pill sometimes if you must, and get enough rest. They don’t call it beauty sleep for nothing.

Also, getting fat makes you get sick, old and feel like crap. So don’t get fat. One of the best ways you can avoid this is by shunning fructose, aka fruit sugar, also known mostly as corn syrup, but it can come from a variety of sources including agave syrup. Fruit sugar…Will kill you.
According to Dr Mercola, more than 1/4 of Americans are now obese.

In summary, the more cigarettes you smoke, the more chocolate you need to eat, but don’t eat so much that you get fat, or it will defeat the purpose.


2 responses to “Anti-Aging Advice from Dr Mercola

  1. “No matter what your convictions in life, nobody wants to get old and yucky. I found some good advice recently on the top things to do or not do to delay turning into your aunt Mildred”

    Lol…good choice of names as Mildred even sounds dated, ha…no offense to anyone named Mildred intended though. Have a great day you guys.

  2. I smoke a pack a day, so I can’t possibly make up for that in chocolate without getting fat, but I am considering combining the two. Would smoking chocolate be worse for the lungs than eating cigarettes would be for the stomach? Or is there chocolate flavored chewing tobacco? Or tobacco flavored chocolate? Or chewing-flavored tobacolate? Or should I just hang myself? And if I should, will it be less painful to do so by the feet than by the neck? Eventually I’ll die either way, but I don’t want to break my neck. I just want to explore space, you know. Like Laika. Or Pluto.
    No, not like Laika. Man, sending that dog into space where it just floated on its own and died after a week was such an evil thing to do. Whoever allowed that whole incident to occur ought to be stabbed half to death every morning for the rest of his life because I’m sure it was a he or two (hmm, I guess two mornings of being stabbed half to death would be enough).
    …anyway, oh yeah, cigarettes have gotten so extremely poisonous lately that each drag tastes like licking the skin of an old lady’s armpit sweating paint thinner (I should know), but the additives increasingly being added to cigarettes are extremely addictive, so I think I’ll keep buying them, so never mind this comment. But keep up your work and get some more listeners, viewers and supporters, will yuh please?

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